• Tanya K Therapy

Falling Out of Love with Your Partner

Do you ever have a feeling that love is no longer living under your roof? Do you ever wonder why the spark in the eyes has faded a little? Or the anticipation of seeing each other has lessened? Why did the laughter stop and the jokes are no longer so funny?

If these questions have ever crossed your mind and you have tried to find answers for them, you are not alone. I have been puzzled by these same questions over and over each time the magic of romance has disappeared, leaving my heart shattered and confused.


Falling in love is a gift of Nature, and once you have been given the gift, Nature makes sure you take it. It floods your system with a cocktail of intoxicating hormones that are released into your system without your slightest awareness. And before you know it, everything about your chosen ONE seems just perfect. Everything (or just about everything) you do together is so fantastic and you think that that Bliss is the name of this new chapter in your life, and that it will last forever.


But over time, these feelings may fade. And when that happens, everything turns upside down. Instead of bliss you feel the pain of emotional blisters. And the happy hormones sour into bitterness and sarcasm. Hasn’t the time come to reevaluate the situation?


Successful couples don’t take what they have for granted. They don’t let their problems gnaw away at their relationship. Instead, they put effort into finding new ways of being with each other. They recommit and buckle themselves in for the bumpy ride ahead until they find their own – specific only to them – balance between the romance and the resolution of the mundane problems of everyday living. Everything in life has a degree of healthy struggle. Love is no different.


If you are feeling that your loving attitude towards your partner is fading, the best next step is to open up a conversation with your partner. Of course, talking honestly about the unfavourable feelings is not for the faint of heart, but remember: Fortune favours the brave. If you talk to your partner with an open heart and honesty, revealing your intention to save and improve the relationship, you might be pleasantly surprised by how open conversation can enliven your sense of connectedness.


For those who prefer to act carefully and think everything through before opening up a frank conversation, counselling might be a sound option. During the counselling process you will have time and space to process all the pros and cons of your inner thoughts and the risks involved in laying them all on the table. You obviously have reasons to be cautious and take things slowly. And they are good reasons. Talking to a person who is qualified in the matters of the heart and has your best interests in mind will help you to make the right choice in your given circumstances.

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